‘I CAN’T AFFORD THE TIX’ MIGHT’VE BEEN TRUE, BUT ‘I HATE MY BODY’ WAS TRUER
Sometimes, we forget to live our lives. We’re too busy hating who we are…
Everyone holds pain deep down – it’s why we go to bed upset, walk down the road and sigh, give up on calling the ones we miss but begrudge.
I am still daunted by the many years spent hating my body.
So many sea getaways that I said no to, nervously having to come up with a blatant lie or the classical ‘I can’t afford it…’. Back in the day, there were little things that scared me more than the thought of my bare body in just a pair of swim trunks, for everyone to see. What was causing so much fear and distress were the jokes, nudges, and physical aggression I would see coming my way.
This skinny, unmanly boy was scared, and no one around me knew how to help.
Kids grow up to be anxious adults, who sail their life away in a dramatic pursuit of vision beyond just money and status – because there’s often no emotional/mental wellbeing support around.
My plea for you, then, is to take care of your heart and mind. Investigate the generational baggage that’s been passed onto you. My family has a long history of staying completely quiet about illness – physical or mental, equating it to shame.
If you too are being conditioned by such generational trauma, break the cycle! Know that this is your chance to heal historical pain, it’s monumental task but liberating and rewarding in the end. You’ll heal. You’ll start a conversation others have been unable to. What a privilege, and what a blessing 🙂
Cry, tears really are cleansing! Break down, let it go, through away those things keeping you down.
And above all, ask for help. Accept it 🙂
It can feel shameful – it’s not! Even if it takes days to muster the courage and mouth the words, even when you mumble and sweat and overthink your tone, asking for help will be a good thing. In my experience, people won’t judge, they’ll help.