Tag: love

IF YOU’VE EVER LOVED YOURSELF, YOU KNOW WHAT SAME-SEX LOVE IS

IF YOU’VE EVER LOVED YOURSELF, YOU KNOW WHAT SAME-SEX LOVE IS

As we move into 2018, I would like to take a moment and let you know that this website is a judgement-free space. Welcoming people with an open mind and loving heart. Let’s be nonresistant when meeting each others. It’s the way to learn and […]

‘I CAN’T AFFORD THE TIX’ MIGHT’VE BEEN TRUE, BUT ‘I HATE MY BODY’ WAS TRUER

‘I CAN’T AFFORD THE TIX’ MIGHT’VE BEEN TRUE, BUT ‘I HATE MY BODY’ WAS TRUER

Sometimes, we forget to live our lives. We’re too busy hating who we are… Everyone holds pain deep down – it’s why we go to bed upset, walk down the road and sigh, give up on calling the ones we miss but begrudge. I am […]

TAKING CARE, OF A SOUL IN PAIN

TAKING CARE, OF A SOUL IN PAIN

I have learned a lot throughout the last few years: loving my queer heart, embracing this slender body, healing abandonment trauma…

Yet over and over again, I come across days and times when confusion and pain surge high. The more I look into myself, the greater the abyss becomes. Reality is what it is, no point in arguing against it. So then,  how do you take care of an aching soul? I’ll write down a simple list (for my information, too!):

-> Welcome the low feelings. Pain confusion resentment and such are legitimate feelings, and it’s only when we attach a negative value meaning that they start hurting. Everything (pain included) comes to pass, not to stay – it shall be well.

-> Do different. Do something different, don’t jump back into the familiar. If your ways of coping with pain haven’t served well (escaping into food, procrastinating, isolating) in the past, why not try something different now?

-> Find one thing you love, that’s fun, cheap, easy to do and serves you well. I like exploring tiny islands in the middle of no where, on Google Maps 🙂

-> Pet a cat, or play with a dog, or sit in the grass and watch the clouds room around.

-> Brush your hair, cherish your body, paint your nails, do your brows, do something loving for your physical body.

-> Go on a date by yourself, take in the decor, savour the food, observe your thoughts, smile to the guy seated next table, go wild and order dessert!

> Think of your grandma, or someone else who really, truly loved you unconditionally.

-> Create, so write, sing, paint, dance, workout or somehow express yourself. Let the high energy feelings come up and see where that takes you.

-> Keep a Gratitude List:Dear God, I am so grateful for wearing such a comfortable, cute t-shirt today. I am so grateful for meeting sweet, loving people today. I am so grateful for receiving voice texts from my special boy. I am so grateful for my body and senses and kind heart.’ Change Dear God for Life, Creator, Universe… 🙂

Above all, be good to yourself, eat clean, go to bed early and stay open to love and the possibility of more happening for you!

ROMANTICISING PAIN

ROMANTICISING PAIN

I catch myself dragging me into unease, discomfort, worry and fear. I think about the choices I make, or I let myself feel the next right step to take – and yet, come good or bad, I quite always manage to find my way back into […]

2017: MY PLANS FOR THE FUTURE

2017: MY PLANS FOR THE FUTURE

I am pregnant with possibility, so what does the future hold for me? And what are some of my current intentions? It’s time for a fun post now so enjoy this exposé! 1) Move into a creative existence: I have long suspected big part of my […]

EMOTIONAL MONDAY: STOP WAITING TO BE SAVED, IT DOESN’T WORK!

EMOTIONAL MONDAY: STOP WAITING TO BE SAVED, IT DOESN’T WORK!

I’m here to confess to you the many times I had waited to be saved – how my saviour never came – and how I shall not be expecting external salvage from now on.

Let’s explain and expand a bit. What do I mean by waiting/wanting to be saved?

Making outside people, other than you, responsible for your own personal salvage/healing/advancement.

Yes, it’s true, separation and isolation won’t take you far way, either. And most of the time, you do need the right people in your life for the right solution or resolution to work wonders. So how do you go about it? Engage in co-creation, as opposed to codependency!

Co-creation acknowledges the truth that we already have and know everything we could ever need to. It also allows us to stay open to expected and unexpected sources of Abundance, which is eventually manifested as physical Prosperity.

Fantasising about the things one famous INSTAGRAMMER – who’s just liked your latest picture – could do to benefit you only represents a very limited view of how success could play out for you.

Fantasising about the loving life your latest TINDER MATCH – whom you’ve only seen once before they ghosted you – could offer you, only shuts you down to life’s endless routes to true love and possibly mirrors deep-seated abandonment fears. I know it does for me…

Fantasising about what MORE MONEY, BETTER HEALTH, INFLUENTIAL CONNECTIONS could do for you in terms of safety, belonging, and approval usually reflects a desperate cry for love. For self-love, and forgiveness and acceptance. And, although it’s painful to admit, you are the only one that can give you all that.

Waiting to be saved is so very tempting because it really looks like the sweet shortcut to joy and bliss. It places all responsibility on an outside saviour – yet, in reality, I’ve found that such a behaviour only scares people away. We’re all here on a personal journey of healing. Would you be willing to put yours on hold and go do the work for somebody else? Right, of course you wouldn’t. How about embarking on a shared loving journey where you get to heal and become more of who you are, together? Now THAT might work work out well 🙂

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EMOTIONAL MONDAY: HEALING YOUR VENGEFUL INNER CHILD

EMOTIONAL MONDAY: HEALING YOUR VENGEFUL INNER CHILD

These last few days I have had to process a great deal of low-vibration feelings and emotions. But… there’s a blessing to every situation – and the revelation I had was this: heal the vengeful inner child. We are never angry because of what we think we’re […]

THE BREAKUP HEARTACHE

THE BREAKUP HEARTACHE

People come into our lives for a reason, for a season or for a lifetime. -beloved Iyanla When I argue with reality, I lose – but only 100 percent of the time. -beloved Iyanla’s sweet friend Katie * Breakups hurt because of the ‘what ifs’ and vulnerability […]

CODEPENDENCY VS. FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE

CODEPENDENCY VS. FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE

To be with others, I must first learn to be with myself.

There is something beautiful and sexy about having friends and lovers in our life – something we so skillfully fear and more often than not turn into codependency relationships.

Why do we find ourselves so very deeply entrenched in codependency? I’ll go ahead and analyse myself; take notes and come to your own conclusions 🙂

1.  I am afraid to be alone

Being alone means I’m not good enough, right? There must be something about me that puts people off. Maybe I’m not funny enough, or interesting enough. Or perhaps I’m not that pretty after all. Hell, me has gotta be plain out ugly!

Reality: We’re all graduates of MSU (Making Stuff Up University), take everything personally and refuse to accept that we hold all the self-love we may ever need.

Solution: Be alone! Go to dinner alone, walk to school alone and go shopping alone until you’re so comfortable and at ease with being alone, that you can truly and unconditionally accommodate real friends and lovers in your life. Until you get radically comfortable with being by yourself, you’ll always find yourself chasing others and holding on.

2. I am settling for less

Okay, I’ll just go with it, cause even if I don’t really like it that much, at least it’s real and happening now. They’re kinda bitchy with me lately, but I am too afraid of confrontation.

Reality: We’re all sweet kids of God/Buddha/Life or whatever you want to call that higher self. We have an inherit right to live peacefully, joyfully and abundantly. Trusting ourselves to be deserving and worthy of it is the only missing part.

Solution: Do mirror work until you can confidently affirm that you deserve all of your blessings. Know, deep down, that your blessings have your name on them, and there’s no need for competition.

3. I am content with being the victim

I never had many friends, anyways. I can work with feeling abandoned and miserable and ghosted. Nobody’ll ever like me or love me or want to be with me. Friends come and go, they never stay for too long.

Reality: You’re only content with being the victim because that’s what feels familiar. You’ve been playing the victim card – to cope and keep going – for so long, that it became sort of your second nature. There’s a struggle going on within, between the YOU who wants to heal and grow, and the YOU who’s simply happy staying the same. Love yourself out of the victim position and reclaim your power. It can be hard-work, but the victim-choice hasn’t been serving you too well, so why not choose again?

Solution: Those deep-seated dysfunctional patterns have their roots in the many experiences occurring throughout childhood. So revisit that time in your life and try to identify what first made you feel abandoned, unloved, imperfect. Why do you feel inadequate and out of place? Is it something your parents and family used to shout at you? Have there been people, back in the day, who convinced you of your so-called unworthiness? It sure was the case for me. Once you’ve identified those mental patterns, let them go. Just let them go. And don’t be afraid if they show up again. Healing happens at many levels, and I don’t think there’s anything we fully grow out of. Healing is a process, it’s continuous and will take you deeper and closer to the core every time you release imbalance.

WHY WE SOMETIMES GET DESPERATE FOR LOVE

WHY WE SOMETIMES GET DESPERATE FOR LOVE

This happens to me all the time. I either watch a YouTube video of somebody candidly talking about their latest crash or I just see someone I really really like and the pain gets me. It’s that type of daunting pain that triggers all of […]


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