Sometimes, we forget to live our lives. We’re too busy hating who we are… Everyone holds pain deep down – it’s why we go to bed upset, walk down the road and sigh, give up on calling the ones we miss but begrudge. I am […]
I catch myself dragging me into unease, discomfort, worry and fear. I think about the choices I make, or I let myself feel the next right step to take – and yet, come good or bad, I quite always manage to find my way back into pain.
So let’s call that romanticising pain. It’s when you experience dis-ease for long enough that the pain this causes turns out too close to home. Personal experience: my drug of choice has always been being a loser. The one who’s left behind, who gets abandoned, and who doesn’t have the means, the ability, the love or support to make it through. I’ve lived it for so long, that a loser mentality naturally got hardwired in my brain.
Making subtle, unconscious choices that invite deep pain into my life – then successfully romanticising anything positive right back into suffering – is what fuels my loser mentality. And WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING that is!
I love who I am today – and how greatly this twisted, beautiful thing supported me into becoming all that I am now. All of the self-inflicted pain, loser mentality, and victimage have been there for my frightened inner child and doubtful inner self. Always.
There’s no point in fighting it. Nobody really wins in a battle. Romanticising pain will always be with me, and deep within me. It’s not the only way to be, that’s true. We’ve really acknowledged each other now, though. And we are having a conversation. Releasing shame, and disrupting ancestral covenants of hiding away from the public eye.
I have recently discovered that Maya Angelou, the renowned poet, singer, and all-around sensational woman, stopped speaking for five (5!) years after having been raped at age seven. And that made me reflect on my very own childhood and the many times I would stop […]
These last few days I have had to process a great deal of low-vibration feelings and emotions. But… there’s a blessing to every situation – and the revelation I had was this: heal the vengeful inner child. We are never angry because of what we think we’re […]
Healing and growing are like peeling an onion: the deeper you go, the more you’ll cry. So let not this process dismantle you, and just now, surrender the need to understand.
Hands up if – whenever something beautiful, loving, and unexpectedly good happens to you, you instantly feel like like you’ll lose it, or have it taken away.
That is FEAR, beloved, and I am facing it these days, too! Now you can see why I thought of sharing 3 FAST techniques that help us stay strong and centred in the face of deep-seated fears and hurtful thoughts 🙂
1) First Generation Thoughts: this is when you walk down the street, in your little bubble of fear, and start noticing things – CAR, BINS, FENCE, STREET, STOPLIGHT. These are all First Generation Thoughts.
Then you think: EXPENSIVE CAR, I’LL NEVER AFFORD IT; GORGEOUS HOUSE, MINE IS NOT AS GOOD, I MUST BE LESS THAN, HMM, PEOPLE DON’T LIKE MY TASTE, NOBODY LOVES ME. These are all Second Generation Thoughts. When you get to Second Generation Thoughts, it means you’ve started inflicted judgement, and therefore created suffering. So we pause, we breathe, and we GO BACK TO First Generation Thoughts. We train our mind like this everyday. Peace restored!
2) Remember Your Divine Nature: and know that you’ve got God, or Life, or the Universe by your side. When you are facing your lover, fearing you’re not worth loving or fighting for, when you are vulnerably showcasing yourself in front of an employer, when you have to argue your case and take a stand for yourself, remember you are nothing but Precious Light; the Greatest Miracle in the World reminds us how:
‘…beginning with that single sperm from your father’s four hundred million, through the hundreds of genes in each of the chromosomes from your mother and father, I could have created three hundred thousand billion humans, each different from the other.
But who did I bring forth?
You! One of a kind. Rarest of the rare. A priceless treasure, possessed of qualities in mind and speech and movement and appearance and actions as no other who has ever lived, lives, or shall live.
Be yourself. Show your rarity to the world and they will shower you with gold.’ – Og Mandino
3) Listen to some radically soul jubilating songs! Because every now and then it all gets a bit too much, and all you’ve gotta do is still your mind 🙂 May I suggest this for the heavy hearted, this for the love birds out there, and this for those of you in need of some feel-good energy 🙂
Vitamin Love 💕💕💕 #TudyBoy #vegan #eatforabs #eeeeets #cleaneating #eatclean #healthy #healthyfood #hclf #vegan #vegansofig #vegetarian #buzzfeast #nutrition #healthyliving #dairyfree #rawtillwhenever #instafood #veganfoodshare #food4thought #foodisfuel #weightloss #strongnotskinny #foodie #plangbased #vscocam #pancakesunday #veganpancakes
Decluttering is the first step to living a peaceful life. Freeing up space for our highest good to come in is therefore essential, so here’s a list of stuff I said bye-bye to throughout 2016 🙂 Perfume – because it’s full of nasty chemicals which […]
Throughout my life, FEAR has been my drug of choice. For some grander reason, that I can’t quite fully comprehend now, fear has always been there for me, slowly turning into a comforting state of mind that I could always evade to. And that’s how fear […]
People come into our lives for a reason, for a season or for a lifetime. -beloved Iyanla
When I argue with reality, I lose – but only 100 percent of the time. -beloved Iyanla’s sweet friend Katie
Breakups hurt because of the ‘what ifs’ and vulnerability required to embark on a new relationship – only to have it snatched away.
Breakups hurt because of our ancient fear of losing control.
Breakups hurt because we lead from the mind – and not the heart.
And breakups hurt because we ask why? why? why? instead of saying thank you! for the lessons.
Some people live a codependent love, and never break free. Breakup never occurs because boundaries are not clear. These are the people who draw a line in the sand, have their line overstepped and then just back off and draw a new one.
Most people accept the breakup when it is needed, yet aren’t fully equipped to navigate it in a way that feels looks and sounds self-honouring. To you I offer:
* It is a process. The one you broke up with is the very same person that could’ve best taught the lessons you needed in order to grow and move on. Give thanks for every little lesson you got out of your time together: when praise goes up, the blessings come down – I.V.
** Underneath every broken heart lays a vastitude of self-love. And self-love is what’ll pull you forward into better, more plentiful experiences.
*** Your life post breakup isn’t just falling apart. There’s some restoration going on. You’re being prepared for something grander.
**** Still love the person, but set them free. You can still love somebody, but change the way you stay in relationship to them. This way you’ll set yourself free, too, and remain open to better, more plentiful experiences.
***** Take some time off. Reflect on your time together, understand what make you tick, tock and boom. Mistakes, when evaluated, make masters – I.V.
Photo credits: honeybeamm
There are so many articles out there about overcoming acne. And there are even more desperate people out there, looking everywhere but inside for a solution. I want to share with you my experience with acne and what’s finally helped. NO, it doesn’t involve any money, costly […]