THIS IS HOW I CAME OUT TO MY PARENTS :)
In my hand, I held the sketch of a mountain – the peak read ”PEACE’ and just below, I’d written down ‘COME OUT’.
‘YOU KNOW HOW SOME BOYS LIKE GIRLS…?’
January 3rd, 2016 I came out to my parents. My mom, dad and I were getting ready to meet some friends for the movies.
Before leaving the house, my dad wanted me to try out some new soup he’d made. I was in the bathroom washing my hands when I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. I suddenly felt a burst of courage – some voice inside of me seemed to have taken control of my mind and was now dictating: You will go into that kitchen, grab your Papi, join Mami, and tell them you’re gay.
I was petrified. But the thought was irresistible. I had to do it.
With a mind of its own, my body just walked into the kitchen, grabbed Papi, took him into the living room, met Mami, interrupted whatever show she was watching and said to them.
– I’ve got something to tell you…
– You know how some boys like girls?
– Well, I like boys.
– What do you mean?
– Mhmm, I mean… I like like boys..
– Ohhh… okay, are you sure? (my mom)
– Yeah, pretty sure (me)
– Tudor… it’s your life, you do what you wanna do with it (papi, slightly taken aback)
I then went back to the kitchen. Started feeling very emotional. Commenced bawling my eyes out. Whilst sipping on the yummy soup. Bit of a hot mess.
Few minutes after, we had to leave for our friends and the movies. Not the ideal plan, one might say. But big moments have a schedule of their own, I guess!
On the escalators, heading into the movie theatre, my dad looked at me – as I was starring off into space – and said ‘I love you, baby, I’ll always love you, no matter what’. That might very well be my favourite memory.
For about two or three months before coming out to my parents, I was doing group therapy – working to improve my mental wellbeing.
On the last session, in December 2015, the facilitator offered us a piece of paper with the sketch of a mountain on it. We had to write down one big goal on the peak of the mountain (I chose PEACE). Just below the peak, we were instructed to write down what’s holding us back from achieving that goal.
I figured out I wasn’t being my authentic self, and I knew I had to live my Truth, thus I jotted down COME OUT.
That piece of paper was going to be mailed to us in 90 days’ time. That’s how long I had before facing the mountain again. I knew I wanted to look at it triumphantly. So I spoke my truth!