Sometimes, we forget to live our lives. We’re too busy hating who we are… Everyone holds pain deep down – it’s why we go to bed upset, walk down the road and sigh, give up on calling the ones we miss but begrudge. I am […]
After extensive research (a.k.a. daily visits and hefty bills into my local Verde Bendito) I can successfully report on the fascinating world of matchalicious drinks and healthy nibs in Mexico:
1) LOTS OF RICH MEXICANS – like, every time I’d go, be it at 9 or 12, weekdays or Saturdays, places like Verde Bendito were at full capacity. According to some of my local friends, these uber rich, lovely Mexican people that I share my daily morning juice with are living their best lives, no jobs, just eat outs!
2) NO STRAWS – hence proudly tackling climate change, one straw-less drink at a time 🙂 This is actually a really nice thing to do and, as far as I know, isn’t common practice in places like Europe, for instance.
3) SMALL VEGAN SELECTION – and a lot of cheese, fish and poultry instead. Aside from one sandwich, a handful of breakfast options and a salad or two, the menu keeps pretty meaty… Things got even worse when I visited Ojo de Agua in Mexico City and the only things I could choose from where: an acai bowl, a panini, and a salad… God bless!
4) MOUTH-WATERING, TEETH-FREEZING SMOOTHIES – they go crazy with the ice around here! Smoothies and cold drinks at Verde Bendito are so frosty – it only takes one rushed sip for your whole mouth to go into a deep-seated, antarctic magnitude state of frozen *so, drink at your own risk!*
5) CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP – I find juices, smoothies and everything else in between here in Mexico is about half the price to what it costs in Europe (and considerably less than Canada or the US). Which, I mean, is why I come back every.single.day 🙂
I have learned a lot throughout the last few years: loving my queer heart, embracing this slender body, healing abandonment trauma… Yet over and over again, I come across days and times when confusion and pain surge high. The more I look into myself, the […]
Welcome inside my house here in quaint old England and let’s now take a look at the beauty supplies I use on my face, hair, body and teeth:
- Handmade soap for when I shower. I’ve been loving Sabio soaps for a while now, though certain ones didn’t quite deliver smell-wise. I find that with handmade soaps there’s no harsh ingredients (which my skin seems to appreciate), none of the industrial chemicals commonly used in commercial products, plus the variety and mix of smell shapes and aromas is fantastic!
- Dead Sea Spa face wash. Which isn’t ideal, I know (nor fully organic or natural!), but I run out of my regular face wash that I get in Sabio, and Dead Sea Spa looked like the next best option in my local Holland&Barrett. With face washes, what I found to work best for me is oil-based products (jojoba oil most notably!).
- Sukin face cream. Again, this Sukin Oil Balancing Mattifying face moisturiser is something I’ve discovered once my Sabio supplies were over – but I’m very happy I did so, because I’ve come to love Sukin’s whole range. All products smell really nice, are carbon neutral, paraben and SLS free, plus they’re Australian (and I’ve got a soft spot for Australia-anything, so that helps haha).
- Young Living essential oils, in place of deodorant (and aftershave). These essential oils are the most expensive of all beauty things I use, however they’re top-notch quality, smell like nothing else I’ve tried, last forever (used up 20 ml over the last 8 months) and are therapeutic-grade. That being said, and with summer fast approaching, I’ve also started using Sukin’s natural deodorant, which smells de li cious and can be used as a compromise for when I choose not to splurge on Young Living.
- Charcoal and clay toothpaste. Always going for fluoride-free and as natural as possible when it comes to my teeth. Lined up next is a toothpaste from Ecodenta, which is charcoal and makes me really excited to try out 🙂
I catch myself dragging me into unease, discomfort, worry and fear. I think about the choices I make, or I let myself feel the next right step to take – and yet, come good or bad, I quite always manage to find my way back into pain.
So let’s call that romanticising pain. It’s when you experience dis-ease for long enough that the pain this causes turns out too close to home. Personal experience: my drug of choice has always been being a loser. The one who’s left behind, who gets abandoned, and who doesn’t have the means, the ability, the love or support to make it through. I’ve lived it for so long, that a loser mentality naturally got hardwired in my brain.
Making subtle, unconscious choices that invite deep pain into my life – then successfully romanticising anything positive right back into suffering – is what fuels my loser mentality. And WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING that is!
I love who I am today – and how greatly this twisted, beautiful thing supported me into becoming all that I am now. All of the self-inflicted pain, loser mentality, and victimage have been there for my frightened inner child and doubtful inner self. Always.
There’s no point in fighting it. Nobody really wins in a battle. Romanticising pain will always be with me, and deep within me. It’s not the only way to be, that’s true. We’ve really acknowledged each other now, though. And we are having a conversation. Releasing shame, and disrupting ancestral covenants of hiding away from the public eye.